I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
