sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
