Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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