it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
