Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
