my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
