playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I could make wine with my vomit
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
