there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
