its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
