if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
