i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
