no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize