try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
