my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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