I can text with my tongue
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
