So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
