OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
