New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
