I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
