i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
