Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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