My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
