dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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