Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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