I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
