I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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