32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize