i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Green mimosas i think yes
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
