just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
