Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Randomize
