My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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