I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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