3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
what day is it and did you see me today?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
