i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
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