I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
