Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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