Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i drank out of a bidet.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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