in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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