mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
