Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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