I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
