do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
