haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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