Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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