Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
That was an excessively violent trivia night
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
