bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
