That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
