i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
