I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
