And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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