that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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