You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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