I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
