She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
