Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
