Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
