I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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