we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
