The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
