Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I want a musical about memes.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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