The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
