I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
