Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
