shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
we're making bets on your personal life
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
